


More like Agents of Failure

by Still Invincible (Tocsin)



Series: Deadpool, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D [2]
Category: Marvel (Movies), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Blood, Gen, Non-Graphic Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-05-31
Updated: 2012-06-07
Packaged: 2017-11-06 09:01:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/417102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tocsin/pseuds/Still%20Invincible
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pre-Avengers movie drabbles about Deadpool in S.H.I.E.L.D. Still Gen atm but consider it build up?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Contract from hell

The contract Wade manages to get out of Coulson takes five days, six lawyers, and several gallons of coffee to be something that both men would sign. Clint reads some of it but the fine print has fine print and the whole thing makes his eyes cross. It's thicker than Clint and Natasha's contracts combined. 

“Since when did you get to be a contract lawyer?” 

“Since never” Wade answers as he signs his name with a flourish. "Lawyers are scum Clint. We've had this conversation.” He passes the pen to Coulson 

“But what about Jack McCoy?” 

“Obviously he's the exception to the rule. Anyone from Law and Order is either proof or exception to the rules. Do I need to get the chart out again?” 

Coulson finishes signing with a sigh and Clint can see an immediate change in him. His shoulders aren't as tense and he looks less likely to go off like a bomb at the next rookie that bugs him. Wade's contract really was a nightmare for him.

“No more charts. Please. But I would like to say, officially, welcome to The Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division Agent Wilson.” 

He offers Wade his hand and after a confused few seconds on his part he takes the hand and shakes. 

“Deadpool. Agent Deadpool. Not Wilson.” 

“That wasn't part of the contract” Which seems to be Coulson's go to response for telling Wade no. 

“It wasn't! This is just a request. Um, please?”

The please isn't very sincere but Coulson nods anyway. 

“Fair enough, Agent Deadpool.”


	2. Cats and dogs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meeting Natasha

When Natasha and Wade finally meet Clint feel like he's going to have a nervous breakdown. Where Wade is an overactive puppy begging for attention Nat's more of a cat watching from a distance. They're about as opposite as two people can get but he likes both of them and he just wants them to get along. Or at least not actively try to kill each other. 

Natasha and Wade are circling, sizing each other up. 

“Do you really need that ridiculous costume?” 

“I don't know. Do you really need your catsuit to be that tight?” 

She says something quick and angry in Russian that he doesn't catch and to Clint's surprise Wade answers her back. Her eyes narrow and she snipes back at him. Clint's caught on and really now they're just throwing Russian insults at each other. Wade moves them from Russian to Spanish then Natasha moves it to Italian. Soon they're just insulting in other in more languages than Clint thought he knew existed.

He's depressed for a few minutes because his best friend and his new best friend hate each other. He's so wrapped up in 'what am I going to do's that it takes him a bit too long to realize that there's no real vitriol behind the words any more. They're just countering each other and Natasha is even smiling a bit. 

They end, eventually, watching each other differently. Whatever they said to each other in the whirlwind of languages has settled things. There's no more hostility and for that Clint's grateful. 

“Agent Deadpool. You aren't quite as horrible as they make you out to be.” 

Wade nods “And you, Black Widow, aren't nearly as stone cold as they say you are.” 

She smirks and they shake hands before Natasha turns and leaves with a small wave over her shoulder. Clint waits till she's gone then points down the hall she went down 

“What the hell?!” 

Wade shrugs “I have that affect on women.”


	3. A to B

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm using a-to-z-prompts on LJ for the next prompts here but I didn't' actually sign up up for the comm because I'm a loser BUT YEAH. Here's A and B

( **ad·mi·ra·tion** /ˌadməˈrāSHən/   
Noun

1\. Wonder mingled with approbation or delight; an emotion excited by a person or thing possessed of wonderful or high excellence; as, admiration of a beautiful woman, of a landscape, of virtue.) 

 

They're in some unnamed place in the middle of nowhere Pakistan, the result of an op gone bad. They were made before they even got their gear put down. The only solution is for them to fight their way out and Clint's frustrated with the close quarters. He manages to make it to the window, sitting on the sill and taking shots between his two partners who are whirling around each other, taking down goons in violent dance.

When the dust settles Natasha and Wade are standing back to back, scanning the area for more attackers. Natasha's got two daggers in her hands and Wade's katanas are out, both sets of weapons dripping blood on the dirty floor. They both have streaks of blood on them and Clint desperately wants to check them to see if it's theirs. But he waits. Part of that is because more men might be coming. The other part is that seeing them both there, out of breath and bloodstained in the dingy light, is one of the most attractive things he's ever seen.

He really needs to get his head examined.

 

( **bi·og·ra·phy** /bīˈägrəfē/  
Noun

1\. An account of someone's life written by someone else.  
2\. Writing of such a type as a branch of literature.)

 

Somehow, they found out that it was his birthday. It was probably Natasha. She's always the best at gathering information. Three of their best agents are sitting across from him, a square present nicely wrapped on the table in front of him. That was also Natasha. Clint and Wade couldn't wrap a present to save their lives. It wasn't in the skillset.

Coulson stared at them.

“Oh come on Boss Man, open it!” Wade was bouncing in his seat, eyes locked on Coulson. Clint doesn't even look at Wade as he grabs his shoulder and forces him still.

“You should open it. It was Natasha's idea but we all pitched in.”

“Yeah, because it was super expens-” Clint's other hand smacked over Wade's mouth. Even if it didn't stop him from talking the muffled indignant noises were slightly more tolerable. Natasha pushed the package closer and there really wasn't any other choice, was there. With a sigh he began unwrapping it as Clint and Deadpool started smacking at each other like children.

By the time he has the book unwrapped Natasha has managed to get the other two under control though Clint might have a small black eye and Wade is pouting more than when Fury forbid him from bringing explosives on base.

The book is one he knows by heart due the excessive amount of times he's read it. He still has his first frayed copy that's been read to oblivion in his mothers house in the attic along with other various childhood memories. This copy is old as well but much more well taken care of than his copies. He opens the cover and his breath stops because he knows why it's so well taken care of.

“A first edition of the Captain America biography _signed_ by Peggy Carter?” He holds it gently, worried about doing anything to damage it. He needs to put it somewhere safe but somewhere he can look at it. When he can finally tear his eyes away from it he can see the three agents smiling at him. It's contagious.

“I got all the Captain America movies queued up and I'm glad it's Friday because this counts as a marathon and Clint brought cupcakes” Wade tells him and Clint nods

“They're the really good ones. From the bakery down the block that Natasha gets the doughnuts from.”

Coulson is smiling and he's not quite sure when he'll stop. It's a good feeling.

“Thank you”


	4. C to G

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More Coulson, Natasha, and bromance. Well, more like bromance with a side of big sister!Natasha and babysitter!Coulson. So... Same thing, really.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact - I've been waiting to write G since I finished the first part of this series.

(con·stel·la·tion/ˌkänstəˈlāSHən/

1\. A group of stars forming a pattern that is traditionally named after its apparent form or identified with a mythological figure.  
2\. A group or cluster of related things.)

 

Coulson didn't usually come to the extraction points much but when he gets the message of 'Light medical assistance required' he makes sure he's there. Each of his agents are liars and masters of understatement. When they arrive, walking because a helicopter or jeep would be too risky, he's taken aback. 

They're all on the desert ground, Clint is using Natasha's lap as a pillow and Wade's curled up to her side, his hand on Clint's head. As he gets closer he can see a field bandage on Clint's forehead and Wade is holding what looks like someone's t-shirt to his side mostly, it seems, just he won't bleed all over Natasha. The three have their eyes on the starry sky, smiling and chatting quietly to each other. 

Despite seeing the three together so often it hadn't quite clicked just how close they had become. He had known of the closeness Clint had with both Natasha and Wade but he hadn't seen the friendship between Wade and Natasha or seen them all together like this. It's a revelation and if it wasn't for the hostile territory or what he's sure is Clint's concussion he'd let them stay here together longer. 

(dis·a·gree·ment/ˌdisəˈgrēmənt/

1\. A failure or refusal to agree. )

 

Despite being called 'The Golden Trio' by most of the other agents (Which led to Deadpool doing rock-paper-scissors with Clint over who got to be Harry Potter the first he got wind of the nickname) the organization's top three field agents could argue like schoolchildren. Wade is annoying just to be annoying and sometimes Clint or Natasha just can't take him. Sometimes Clint needles at them too much and they lash out. Both men get frustrated with her sometimes curt, uninformative responses. It doesn't help that they're forced to spend days at a time together on missions. 

So they fight, scaring fellow agents out of whole wings when they get into screaming matches. Fury had intervened sometimes but he stopped after he called them children and Wade responded by whining “But mom!” for ten minutes

Fury ended up throwing a stapler at his head then gave Coulson carte blanche over them. 

So they fight. But eventually when tempers cool they come back together. Natasha will talk quietly to them, no apologies but no anger. Clint will bring treats, baklava for Natasha and whatever he can grab from a cart for Wade. Wade gives backhanded apologies underlying with desperation. For all the arguing it only shows Coulson that they're more of a family than Fury or the agents themselves see. 

 

(e·piph·a·ny/iˈpifənē/

1\. any moment of great or sudden revelation)

 

It's the first time Natasha has been able to get a mission alone in months. Clint and Wade are like leeches, either dragging her with them or inserting themselves into her missions. It's nice to be able to get away from the two men if only for a week. The first two days were pure bliss. No Wade talking her ear off or Clint arguing with them. It's quiet and she revels in it. She goes about her job though as the days go on something feels off. She finds herself looking at rooftops or behind her and it dawns on her third day that she's looking for her partners. 

It's not too much of a surprise. Having a master assassin at your back and one of the top snipers in world for cover tends to help things. It isn't until she's in the shower on her fourth day that it really hits her. She's not missing the assassin and the sniper; She's missing _Wade and Clint_. She leans against the shower wall and looses track of time as she lets the information sink in. She steps out of the shower sometime later, more in control. She wraps herself in a towel telling herself it'll be fine. 

She can miss them. It's not love. She makes herself believe. 

 

(fe·lic·i·ty/fəˈlisitē/

1\. Intense happiness.  
2\. The ability to find appropriate expression for one's thoughts.)

 

It's a war zone and he's lost Natasha and Wade. He's lost them in a fucking _war zone_. Artillery is going off around him and he should be finding somewhere safe to hide until it's over. He should but he's looking for his partners in the rubble instead. His eyes stop on every piece of red and he's about to give up and find somewhere he can have a nervous breakdown safely until he sees them together between the ruins of two shops. It's not a good place to be. The surrounding rubble could fall on top of them but as he gets closer he can see that Deadpool's hand is pinned and he's too busy arguing with Natasha to see Clint coming. 

God, Clint is happy to see them safe. The relief and pure joy that rushes through him just seeing them relativity ok makes his legs weak. He rushes over, practically jumping between then and ending up mostly in Wade's lap, making the man yelp. 

“Woah! Easy there Snoopy! Your knee was almost somewhere really uncomfortable.” 

“Clint!” Natasha is angry but Clint can see a faint line of worry. “Tell Deadpool that cutting off his own hand is a horrible idea.” 

“It's not! How else are we going to get out of here? I don't exactly carry heavy machinery in my pockets to move this wall.” 

Both of them are looking to him to break the tie but he just.... He's so happy because for a few seconds there he'd thought they could be lost. Clint doesn't know how to spell this out for them so he leans over to Natasha and kisses her on the forehead. He doesn't think he could get away with anymore but judging from her understanding look something got through. Wade is easier. He just grabs him and gives him a quick kiss on the corner of his mouth. He doesn't get it but Clint puts his hand over his mouth to shut up his confused yells. 

“Ok. Now lets get the hell out of here.” 

 

(gran·dil·o·quence/grn-dl-kwns/

1\. A lofty, extravagantly colorful, pompous, or bombastic style, manner, or quality especially in language)

 

They're in a meeting with a bunch of new agents, sipping coffee, and waiting for Coulson. Wade is making up horrifying stories to scare the newbies while Natasha is intimidating them simply by existing. In other words everything is normal. Coulson comes into the room and Wade stops talking, sitting up ramrod straight. 

“Good morning, agents” 

Wade puts on a ridiculous falsetto and replies “Good morning Charlie!” 

Clint spits coffee all over the rookies and Natasha chokes on her doughnut.


	5. H to J

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All of the feels

(her·o·ism/ˈherōˌizəm/  
1\. The qualities or attributes of a hero or heroine  
2\. Heroic conduct; courageous action)

 

Wade has known that he wasn't a hero. He's tried so hard to be one but there was just something about him that has him chucked into the universe's 'chaotic neutral' bucket. He knows that means this sweet deal he has with Clint and Nat is going to fall down around his ears one day. Things are so good now which means that when it happens he won't be able to drag himself back from it. He thinks about leaving sometimes. Just packing things up and moving to another country for a few years until Fury stopped looking. 

But then Clint laughs at one of his jokes or Natasha smiles or Coulson gets an expression on his face for a tenth of a second and he knows in his bones that he won't leave. As ~~scared~~ _worried_ he is about the fallout that's to come from his happiness he's just going to enjoy it while he can. Especially if Fury keeps coming by after the successful missions and pats him on shoulder telling him he did good work. 

That and they have a great cafeteria too. 

 

(in·ti·ma·cy/ˈintəməsē/ 

1\. Close familiarity or friendship; closeness.  
2\. A private cozy atmosphere.)

 

“I can't believe you actually did it” Natasha’s expression is somewhere between amused and disappointed. Clint just shrugs and keeps limping to Wade's fridge. 

“A bet's a bet, Tasha. I missed a target so I had to get the tattoo.” 

It had been one of his more stupid ideas but he'd been so sure he'd win. He should have known that the second Wade agreed to a 'no touch' rule that something was up. Just before he released his arrow Wade moved close enough that Clint could feel his breath on his ear and whispered “Wanna fuck?” 

He'd missed completely, face red, and Wade laughed like a hyena. Then they'd had a fight that got out of hand which got them banned from the shooting range for a week. Agent Riggs was only out for two days and there wasn't any permanent damage. It hadn't been as big of deal as Fury had made it out to be. 

It was fair enough though. So even if Wade probably wouldn't have really put fire ants in his bed like he said he would if didn't, he got Deadpool's logo tattooed on his hip. The circle was two inches across in red and black and even if it had been for a bet, Clint really likes the contrast on his skin. 

“Are you going to share the rest of it with us or will just keep it to yourself?” Natasha's eyebrow quirked as she asked him, and Clint took the moment to get a six pack from the fridge. Of course she would notice that the plastic wrap covering the tattoo and disappeared into his pants was just a bit too large for what he supposedly had done. That or the limp had given him away. He pulled one of the cans of cheap beer Wade bought from the rings and handed it to her. 

“A man has to have his secrets.” Judging from the look on her face it wasn't even a secret at all. Damn she knew him too well. He ducked his head “And I'm not taking my pants off for you.” 

She laughed the murmured something quiet in Russian that he couldn't catch.“It's nothing I haven't seen before Clint. Drop them and let me see.” 

“We're in Wade's kitchen!” 

“He won't care. Do it or I'll do it for you.” 

Clint could feel himself blushing but he didn't doubt Natasha would. He put the beers on the counter and then, careful of the tender skin, pulled his pants down the side enough so she could see the symbols on his thigh. They stand together in silence, Clint keeping his eyes on the ceiling and eventually he hears her crouch down next to him. When he looks at her, her hand is reaching out as though she wants to touch, a fond smile on her face. It's probably the softest he's ever seen her. 

“Tasha...” The close moment is broken when Coulson steps into the doorway. 

“Ah. Sorry. Didn't know I was interrupting.” Natasha just huffs and stands. 

“It's fine. But you should come and see Barton's ink. I think you'll approve. 

Coulson looks like he's going to protest but Natasha just points at Clint's bared thigh. They all know not to fight with her when she gets likes this. Phil just looks at Clint, shrugs, then gets closer to look at the tattoos. There's more silence then he asks “Why?” 

He isn't sure what emotion he can say is in the one word because there's a lot of them. Mostly something wondering and unsure. He bites lip before he answers 

“You're our handler. Our friend. You're one of us, Phil. I don't know how we'd work without you.” 

He's getting cold standing here with his pants pulled down like this and he could really go for some ice on his tattoos but for the smile on Coulson's face it's totally worth all the uncomfortableness. 

“Are you guys about to have a threesome or something because I'm totally feeling left out over here.” 

As wrapped up as he had been with Tasha and Coulson he hadn't even heard when Wade had come in. Judging from the looks on their faces that they quickly hide, they had a similar lax of alertness. 

“I like the look of all of us on your skin, buddy” And. What. He's going to be hearing _that_ on repeat in his head for a long time. Clint takes a deep breath and pulls his pants back up. 

“Can we just watch the movie already? “ 

They all settle in Wade's shitty living room in their usual spots. Coulson gets the chair next to the coffee table so he can do paperwork and Clint sits between Wade and Natasha. At some point he ends laying across both of his friends, ice pack balancing on his hip and thigh while they argue if the hobbits are gay or not. 

Two weeks later when his tattoos are fully healed, he almost wants to go to Wade and thank him for giving him the push to do it. Whenever he sees Deadpool's logo, Black Widow's hourglass, and Coulson's tie in their triangle on his body he can't help but smile. 

 

(ju·di·cious/jo͞oˈdiSHəs/

1.Having, showing, or done with good judgment or sense.)

 

People thought Fury was insane for recruiting Deadpool. He was annoying, barely followed orders, impossible for stealth missions, and mouthed off to anyone. They told him it would blow up in his face. Deadpool was uncontrollable. He had a rap sheet miles long, how could he trust him? 

Then Wade went out in the field. He took out targets with no other casualties on either side. He stole intel right out from under people's noses. He could take out a whole base of heavy armed men and give them a dry cleaning bill for the damage to his costume. He'd been offered money on several occasions to spy on S.H.I.E.L.D for other groups and turned each one over to them. He listened to Coulson (though only Coulson).

Deadpool was a mess but he got results. A few subtle I-Told-You-So's were completely within his rights.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took a bit longer than expected because I waffled way way WAY too much over 'intimacy'. Eventually I just threw my hands up, stopped thinking, and just wrote. I GUESS IT'S OK? IDEK...


	6. K to N

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluffy fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Over halfway done with the alphabet! PARTY TIME

(kin·der·gar·ten/ˈkindərˌgärtn/

1\. A school or class that prepares children for first grade.  
2\. A child in kindergarten is typically 5 or 6 years old.)

 

Janelle is five when she finally gets to meet some of the people her Uncle Phil works with. She knows what he does is a secret that he can't talk about but she's wanted to learn anything about his job for... A long time. So when he has to rush into work he leaves her with a group of people from his work that he says are 'The very best, I promise' she's happy. 

Their names are Clint, Natasha, and Wade and she really likes them. Miss Natasha braids her hair and they read stories together while 'the boys go do boy things'. There's something about her that is a little scary but when Mister Clint makes her laugh she looks a lot nicer. Sometimes she talks in another language which isn't fun but she does like the way it make her voice sound. 

Mister Clint watches cartoons with her and spends an hour helping her draw some great pictures of her uncle fighting dinosaurs. He staples the pictures together for her which makes it a _book_ and she can't wait to give it to Uncle Phil. He gives her ice cream and ruffles her hair, which messes up her braid but after Miss Natasha yells at him she fixes it.

She wants to like them equally but her favorite is Mister Wade. He spends the most time with her and they play every game Janelle can think of. They go to the park and jump rope then play cops and robbers with Natasha and Clint (She and Wade are the cops. He laughs for a long time when she tells him he's on her team) They have a tea party that only Wade and the stuffed animals she brought with her attend. He talks a lot but he makes her laugh a lot so that's good. He tries teaching her how to do a split but it hurts so instead he teaches her how to do a cartwheel. 

For dinner Wade makes them all breakfast. Miss Natasha and Mister Clint don't like it but Mister Wade makes everyone stay out of the kitchen until it's ready. It smells really good and when he tells them it's done. They're the best pancakes she's ever had. 

“You make pancakes- Amazing pancakes! When did this happen?” Mister Clint is staring at his second plate of pancakes like they're going to run away if he stops. 

“Well you haven't done anything to deserve my awesome pancakes.” He waves a spatula at him “It's not my fault. You only have yourself to blame.” 

“You make pork chops in the toaster how are you a pancake god?” 

Mister Wade turns and flips the next batch of pancakes. “Honestly Snoopy. If you gotta be the god of something it might as well be pancakes”

“Can I be a god too?” Janelle asks them, a new game already taking root in her brain. 

“You can be god of whatever you want, Janey.” Wade says and she smiles, taking a gulp of orange juice. She likes when he calls her that. 

After dinner is cleaned up and a plate made for Uncle Phil they play gods versus aliens. Wade is god of pancakes, attacking Clint with a spatula and frying pan. Janelle is goddess of animals which means she uses her stuffed animals as projectiles against Natasha who is really good at dodging them. The boys get too rough and put a hole in the wall so Natasha says something to them in her language then tells them they have to take break. They all sit down to watch Disney movies and Janelle isn't sure when she fell asleep but she wakes up when Uncle Phil is picking her up from the couch, talking quietly to the others. She buries her head against his shoulder and falls back asleep, waking back up in the morning in her bed.

When she goes into living room she's disappointed that Wade and the others aren't around. 

“Uncle Phil?” 

“I'm in the kitchen Janelle.” 

She goes to him and gives him a quick hug, another small pang of disappointment hitting her when she realizes he's making eggs and there won't be more of Mister Wade's pancakes. Uncle Phil's eggs are good too but they aren't egg god good. 

“Did you have fun yesterday? I'm sorry I couldn't-” 

She interrupts him happily “It was the best!” 

He gets that weird look on his face that he gets when he doesn't believe something “The best?” 

“Yeah! Are they coming over today too? Please! ” 

“You want them... You want Natasha, Clint and Wade to come over again?” She nods quickly and he gets that small smile on his face that means he's really happy 

“I think that can be arranged.” 

 

(la·con·ic/ləˈkänik/

1\. (of a person, speech, or style of writing) Using very few words)

 

“Natasha! Oh come on! Please?”

“No.” 

“Come on Natty it'll be-”

“Don't call me that.” 

“I'll stop if you let me.” 

“No.” 

“But-” 

“ _No_ Wade” 

“I'm an adult you can't tell me what to do!” 

She gave him THE look and he sighed, shoulders slumping in defeat. She always won... Wade crouched down and put his hand on the plexiglass cage wall. 

“One day Mister Fluffers.” he whispered “One day.” 

The chinchilla kept running on it's big wheel, oblivious. 

 

(med·i·ta·tive/ˈmedəˌtātiv/

1\. Of, involving, or absorbed in meditation or considered thought.)

Sometimes Wade would stare off in space, looking thoughtful. Clint thought it was something serious at first. Something that got the normally talkitive Wade to shut up for any extended amount of time had to be. But then he'd turned to Clint, blinking. 

“Hey. How many elephants do you think you could fit on a boat?” 

Clint doesn't worry about it anymore. 

 

(na·ive/nīˈēv/

1\. (of a person or action) Showing a lack of experience, wisdom, or judgment  
2\. (of a person) Natural and unaffected; innocent)

Wade wishes he could be naïve enough to be happy with his work in S.H.I.E.L.D. He sees some of the other Agents following Fury in total conviction and he's baffled. Even if he was a guy who _could_ be totally convinced that he was doing good like them, how can they not see that Fury is a snake in the grass? He's doing it 'for the greater good', yeah, but that doesn't mean that Wade can't see his scales. 

Sometimes he comes back from jobs feeling filthy both inside and out he wonders if he didn't just trade one sin for another.


	7. O to R

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Closer to the end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a crappy birthday so I made myself happy by writing and watching YouTube videos. ENJOY THE FRUITS OF MY PAIN

(om·ni·pres·ent/ˌämnəˈpreznt/

1\. Present everywhere at the same time.  
2\. Widely or constantly encountered; common or widespread:.)

 

He was really proud of his genius brain right now. Honestly, this was on of the best pranks he'd ever thought of. Wade was setting up the first mouse trap when someone kicked his hand into it, the trap snapping shut on his hand. Pouting, he looked up at his attacker. 

“Ah, Papa Bear. I should have known.” 

Fury was not amused. 

“Damn it Wilson. What have I told you about this?” 

“I think you said 'Coulson, you deal with them' Which is a dick move, pawning everything off on mom-” 

“Stop.” Fury rubbed his temples for a second which pleased Wade. His plan to slowly explode the man's brain with headaches would work someday. “Just stop. Pack up whatever you're doing and do it at home.” 

“I can't scar the new recruits at home!” He peeled the mouse trap off his hand, shaking it. “How did you even know I was doing this? I didn't even know I was doing this until an hour ago.” 

Fury just sighed. “Just pack it up and go home.” 

Wade stuck his tongue out at him as he left then looked at the now useless supplies. Man, just what the hell was he going to do with all this pudding? 

 

( pho·tog·ra·phy/fəˈtägrəfē/

1\. The art or practice of taking and processing photographs.)

 

Like so many things, it started out completely professional. Photographs were needed for most of their missions. Surveillance was a vital tool and as much as Wade complained about it being boring it had to be done. Coulson wasn't surprised when going over the surveillance photos he noticed there were candid shots of the three agents, all obviously taken by Wade. 

What did surprise him was Clint and Natasha sending notes with the photos asking certain ones to be kept. It wasn't too great a distraction for them so he did, putting them in his own private server for the agents to retrieve when they returned. Soon it was obvious that the three were sharing the camera. Wade was in more shots and not in a 'Lone person taking a picture of themselves' way. 

The next mission he showed up to he wasn't surprised in the least when the first thing Wade did was blind him with the flash, grinning. 

“The family scrapbook isn't finished until we get pictures of mom and dad!” 

Coulson just sighed. The scary thing was he used to this now. 

 

(ques·tion·a·ble/ˈkwesCHənəbəl/

1\. Doubtful as regards truth or quality:  
2\. Not clearly honest, honorable, or wise: )

 

They all know that despite Deadpool's playful exterior there was a ruthless killer lurking. Even if he had his own code (He didn't like killing hired security or civilians unless absolutely necessary and fuck anyone if they messed with a kid) he had worked on the wrong side of the law for a long time. They'd all read the files but even then it's a surprise the first time Deadpool really snaps. 

There's guys pouring into the warehouse and sooner than Clint would like they're overrun. Wade, Coulson, and Natasha are on the ground in the thick of it with Clint up on the rafters. They're easily holding their own for a while. Natasha with her martial arts, Coulson with his guns, Wade's katanas and Clint's bow are a easily winning combo but somehow one of them knocks Coulson down. Natasha is trying help but then they've got her on the ground and Deadpool _changes_. 

They've seen him fight and kill plenty of times but now it's different. Normally he tries to wound, cracking jokes about it but making the kill if he has to. He told Clint once that it wasn't personal so why should make the effort? Well it sure as hell is personal now. There's no mercy as he tears through the throng and for the first time Clint's actually a little afraid of his friend. Now he can really see why they wanted to recruit him so fast. Deadpool working against them would have been terrifying. 

He makes his bloody path to the two fallen agents and when he gets down to them Clint's relieved to see that their injuries are mostly minor. Despite the gash down his arm, Coulson is more worried about Deadpool. Clint's not sure why until the adrenalin isn't rushing in his head so hard and he can actually process what's being said. 

Wade's twitchy, head jerking around as he scans the warehouse while Phil holds up his good hand like he's trying to approach a startled horse. 

“It's OK Wade. You did good. They're dead.” 

His head whips to Coulson, obviously still keyed up and furious “I'm gonna track them down. I'm going to find them, I'm going to murder them all, and you can't stop me. Get out of my way.” 

Their handler doesn't move “No. You won't go.” 

“The hell I won't-!” 

Coulson interrupts him “No, you won't because Natasha and I need medical attention. Will you leave Clint alone if they send more?” 

“Clint's tough! He can handle a couple of-” 

He interrupts again, expression softening “Not that many. You have to stay and help us Wade. Can you do that for me?” 

Wade trips over his words, a jumble of gibberish coming out of him as he waves his hand around trying to get some point across. He stops when he gets too frustrated, putting his head and his hands and screaming for a few seconds. When he's done and lifted his head he's obviously calmer but he's still tense and ready to fight. 

“OK Charlie.” Clint's never been so happy to hear that stupid nickname “OK. We'll do this your way. Don't expect me to go easy on them though.” 

Coulson's smile is really mean and now Clint is questioning just when this all went so horrible. 

“Noted.” 

 

(res·ti·tu·tion/ˌrestəˈt(y)o͞oSHən/

1\. The restoration of something lost or stolen to its proper owner.  
2\. Recompense for injury or loss.)

 

Natasha watches as Wade runs past her. He gives her a quick 'Hi bye Natty!' and then continues on his way. A few seconds later she hears Fury yelling for Wade. She sighs when Fury comes around the corner, hand over his eye and inconsolably angry. He takes one look at her and she points down the hall where her friend went. 

He storms after Deadpool who Natasha hopes has hidden their leader's eye patch already. Either way, he should be expecting to pay for it. She can't help but smile.


End file.
